Why are we so quick to judge and slow to understand?
Can we all agree that one of the most frustrating feelings is being misunderstood? The saying “It’s a cold world” didn’t come from thin air, and the negative stigma around social media definitely doesn’t help that argument either. People can be so quick to judge others without knowing the full story, or the first thing about an individual. None of us like to feel judged, so how about we challenge ourselves to be a little more accepting and understanding of others.
In April of 2021, Willow Smith came out as bisexual to both her mother and her grandmother on the Facebook show Red Table Talk. Someone I know personally made the comment that Willow can’t be bi-sexual. I asked the question: why not? “Because you can’t like both men and women. You either like one or the other. That doesn’t even make sense.” I responded “But she is Bi. She just said that she does in fact like both men and women. There is nothing else for us to understand.”
I share this example to say that it is not our place to judge others’ decisions. You don’t have to like someone else’s choices and or preferences, but as long as it doesn’t affect you or your life, there is no need for you to “not accept” the reality of their choices. Social media thrives off the opinions of others be it positive or negative. While you do have the right to an opinion, you do not have the right to judge someone you do not know.
This leads to my next point, Cancel Culture. I think the initial intent of cancel culture may have been positive, but the actual effects of how it is used today can be very negative. It is common that we see a resurfacing of a celebrity’s old tweets or opinions from before they reached the heights of their career. An example would be, Billie Eilish. During the summer of 2021, she faced some criticism for a resurfaced video that showed her using racial slurs. Of course, the public was outraged and called to cancel her. She issued a statement apologizing for her past behavior; stated that while she takes responsibility for her past actions, she is a different person now than she was when the comments were made.
This has happened to several celebrities. One fact I want us all to remember is that we are human. We have all said and done things that I know we are glad no one was filming and posting to the world. Give celebrities, as well as others, room for some grace. It is one thing to want to cancel someone who refuses to take responsibility or acknowledge that their speech (or actions) may have been ignorant. It is another thing entirely, to want to end someone’s career off one mistake. A lot of us are quick to judge and slow to understand. Instead of being so quick to judge others, let’s try to educate before completely writing someone off. In a celebrities case, give them the time to see if they will apologize and or try to learn from their mistakes. If they don’t, you have every right to not stream their music, movies, unsubscribe from them, etc.
Again, I say all of this to emphasize the fact that we are flawed; we are all human. We all make mistakes, but instead of pouncing on someone the minute they make a mistake, how about we all take a breath before making a judgment. You do not have to like someone else’s choices, but you do have to accept them; you cannot change someone else’s decision. Therefore let it go, and move on. Rather than jumping to the harshest judgment based on a mistake, exercise some understanding and allow a person the chance to grow from their mistake. The definition of a mistake is an error in action caused by poor reasoning or insufficient knowledge. Give people the grace to learn from an accident.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” -Stephen R. Covey